


geese and other foul

by theprimrosepath



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Background Jester Lavorre, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Pining, Secret Admirer, Self-Loathing Caleb Widogast, episode 107 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26159611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprimrosepath/pseuds/theprimrosepath
Summary: Caleb admires Jester, dirty sense of humor and all.
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	geese and other foul

Una had been the kind of mother to put soap in her son's mouth if she happened to overhear him speak something foul. Occasionally it had been treasonous words against the Empire, whether he'd understood what he said or not. More often it had been of that typically forbidden to children—curses, blasphemy, sexual language.

It was because of such treatment, and because Bren had been a good son, that by the time he'd arrived at the Soltryce Academy alongside Astrid and Wulf with bags slung over their shoulders and the worn clothes of farmers' children on their backs, his language had been clean as a whistle. Not even the scalpels of Master Ikithon's cohorts could draw more than hisses and wordless groans as the crystals slid beneath his skin.

What had slipped from Wulf's pained lips had been fouler—for a time, before Master Ikithon beat the reactions out of him. Astrid had grit her teeth from the start and borne it in utter silence. Her resilience had enchanted Bren.

Anyway.

Then his mind had shattered into a million pieces, and he'd presumably been subdued and taken to the Vergessen Sanatorium. He certainly knew nothing of what might have left his mouth in those eleven years; maybe curses so incandescent and vile that he needed no magic to light a person ablaze. Suitable for the man guilty of matricide.

Perhaps there had been only silence. It might almost count as a mercy, if so, that his effort to end his parents' lives ultimately succeeded, lest they'd seen their brilliant and charismatic only child reduced to being quietly spoon-fed in a small white room.

To wit, Caleb was as confident as an insane man could be that he'd spoken the word 'penis' and all its synonyms more times within the past year than he had the entire rest of his life.

It was ridiculous. Stone clattered against fellow stone and dirt as a pile of phallic Traveler statuettes tumbled out from Jester's bright pink haversack. "We could hold a treasure hunt, but for dick statues!"

 _She_ was ridiculous. Caleb said, "A _dick_ hunt," and recalled the taste of poor, homemade soap on his tongue.

Jester grinned at him, and his heart gave yet another aching and pathetic spasm.

He would never know what his parents might have thought of her, dirty humor and idiosyncratic sensibilities and all. He did know that Bren at seventeen had been far too self-absorbed to have given her more than a passing glance.

(Or perhaps the self-righteous, detached disdain of a state-sanctioned executioner as he burned to death the dozenth traitor that day like so much hay on the pyre.)

But Caleb crafted illusions with all he knew of Jester's favorite themes—penises included—to see her smile and secret away every gasp of, "This is _wonderful_ ," into a dark and hidden corner of his heart to shiver to the warmth of when next he was alone. And he thought of quiet conversations about moving people, and how Jester changed everyone around her for the better through little more than being herself.

**Author's Note:**

> this is, of course, because of liam o'brien and laura bailey. those assholes lol. (fun fact related to the hcs expressed in this fic: liam originally intended to not really curse as caleb widogast. he simply gave up because liam o'brien is a curser.) i apologize in advance for any mistakes in exact dialogue, since sadly i don't have vod access.
> 
> stay tuned you guys, i'm hanging in there.


End file.
